Preparing for Marriage-Casual dating

    This week in my Family Relations class, the primary focus was centered on dating in our culture today. I believe that dating in it's many forms are valuable to society. But, within the last several decades, dating has changed significantly. Even the definition of the word "dating" has completely changed to meaning exclusive and "unavailable." In most places in America these days, there is not much casual dating that occurs, only exclusive. I experienced that throughout my high school years in Texas, New Mexico, and California where I have lived. This lack of casual dating and increase of exclusive dating has led people to believe that it is simply the culture of our time and that there is nothing that we can do to change it. I hope that in due time, casual dating can be once again seen as valuable. It is a time where we can get to know people very well by observing them do different activities and interact in different settings. Through this dating, people can almost "shop around" in a nonthreatening and fun way to see what kind of people they could potentially marry. In exclusive dating, a person cuts themself off from other possibilities. It is good to do this when one has already passed the stage of casual dating and can visualize marriage, but not in every dating interaction. Casual dating is the traditional approach that our culture has veered from and should re-establish.
     I have been working on a project for my marriage preparation class that ties right in with the things I have been reading in the chapters assigned for this class. In this project, I had to interview three females and three males between the ages of 16-23 who are not married and have casually dated a lot. I discovered the fun and excitement that has come from going on these dates. They mentioned the ability to talk to the person and get to know them by doing fun activities was an ideal way to get to know what you like in people. This kind of dating is needed in our culture today in my opinion. Just from discussing in class the positive effects of casual dating, I definitely wish it was more common because people can learn what kinds of people they best work with and therefore be on a track that will lead to finding a compatible spouse.

Gender roles

           Gender roles was the main focus this week in my Family Relations class. I learned way more than I expected to on this issue of how gender plays a significant role in society today. We had to take a moment and analyze how important our gender has been in the interactions we have had with our families. I stopped and thought about how my feminine traits have influenced me to take on the role of a second mother as the oldest in our house. I have always assisted my mother in taking care of the kids like when I direct them to go to bed when they choose to stay up late or when I break up fights that start. If I were a male, I would act completely different! I would most likely take on the role of a fatherly figure that my siblings would look to. I would have more masculine tendencies and would almost have a different personality because of that.
       I believe that gender is ordained of god. The topic of sexual orientation is extremely contriversial, but from the various readings and videos I have watched this week and an accumulation of observations I have made in my life, I know that we are given a sexuality at birth and for a reason. God is good. He would only give us what is natural and right. To completely rebel against that given gender, even if there are bisexual attractions is denying a gift given us from god. Those that choose to identify themselves as "gay" or "lesbian" choose to act on those attractions and outright decide that they do not like this gift.
        Those are my personal ideas on this topic, but from some of the reading I found that people with homosexual tendencies can seek and obtain help. There are programs offered that provide liberation and assistance to those that desire it. There is a 65% success recovery rate of all those that go through these programs. Reading this I realized that there are people that want to embrace that gift of gender, but just need some help. In choosing to obtain that help, there was joy, happiness and change. One boy went through an interview on one of the required videos we had to watch. He explained his experience of choosing to accept the homosexual feelings he had and lived such a lifestyle. He described his utilizing programs to help him and in the end he emphasized the lightness, joy, and happiness he felt. The tendencies he had vanished and he found girls extremely attractive. It was a process, but out of choice he changed his ways to become ones that were of god. In doing that, he found joy and the lack of empty sadness that he felt extensively during the earlier choices he made. Change is possible.

Cultures and the family unit

        This week, our main focus was centered on cultures. There were some assignments given that had us look into the many different cultures that influence family life in our society. I learned how these types of cultures also influence decisions of individuals in the family as well. Some families are smaller and have a very different dynamic in comparison to families that have many children.

         From different research provided, I have found that the most ideal dynamic that is best for children is for the family’s culture to stem from the traditional family system. A father and mother working hand in hand to rear children. That is how it has been for thousands of years. Now, it is not as expected and so we see cultures becoming more accepting of different family systems. I believe that the traditional family is vital. It has been tested to be the best in comparison to other examples of family units. I hope that people can one day recognize the value of traditional families though the cultures of today are changing. Something needs to change. This is our posterity we are talking about.

Relationships in the family

So- for this weeks assignments in this class, I learned quite a bit. At BYU-Idaho where I am currently taking this Family Relations class, the students are required to do a lot to be prepared to come to class by completing assignments to read or research different topics. I have learned so much more preparing for class than I would have expected! For one assignment, I had to utilize a program called genpro to map out the relationships that exist in my own family whether they be positive or negative. Doing this gave me a visual perspective on how my families relationships are right now.
     For another assignment, I had to go to a public place where families would be so I chose to walk to a public park near the campus. Once I got there, I had to observe the relationships that existed between family members (in this case, it was between several mothers and their children). The first mother I observed was so kind and sweet to her little boy and she played with him on the jungle gym. For a moment, the little boy strayed over to a construction area and though I might have expected her to get angry, she calmly said "Don't go over there." He listened and quickly obeyed her. In this positive relationship I can visualize how it might progress over time to become healthy even into the teenage years. Obviously the boy trusts his mother and she has a loving way of correcting and helping him that could influence him as he grows up.
    I also had to watch several videos about the separation of the wealthy and the poor in society. I guess I never really considered that it could be an issue in this day and age. I learned how in various situations, these different classes in society really don't mix. It seems to depend upon where in the U.S. you live. Well, I learned a lot even from doing these few assignments- this class becomes more and more insightful every week!