The aging of married individuals can be a relaxing and happy experience if the couple chooses to be happy. This week we focused on the aging of married couples and the different challenges that they go through during that period of their life. For most couples we realized that this empty nester time in their lives is an enjoyable time where the marriage can be strengthened and intimacy is at it's highest. Looking at these results I was somewhat surprised because I guess I did not think that with age intimacy would increase. But it is true that once the children leave, couples tend to lean more on each other and grow old with each other. This is the case with most couples, but in actuality this is not always the case. Statistically speaking, 11% of those grandparent age couples are raising their grandchildren. We studied how this would affect the dynamic in the relationships between grandparents and grandchildren. This type of interaction would become a blend of a grandparent and parenting relationship. Overall, this time period in our lives is one that is influenced by our situations in life. It can be a time of frustration and stress or a joyful time of re-acquaintance with one's spouse.
This is my last blog post! It has been such an insightful semester and I have enjoyed the different lessons that I have been taught in class. I am heading home for next semester, but I know that because of what I learned in this class I will be much more awair of my relationships with family members and how important they are in my life. I hope you all enjoyed my weekly posts and were influenced in one way or another to think about some of these issues. I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas and try to remember the importance of your relationships with family members during this holiday!
Monday, December 16, 2013
Friday, December 13, 2013
Divorce and remarriage
Couples who divorce impact the lives of those in their family unit in detrimental ways. As I have studied the topic of divorce in depth this week I have reached the conclusion that if divorce can be avoided at all costs, then it should. Overall, in various studies completed it has been found that 70% of divorced couples feel that they should have tried harder to save the marriage from collapsing. Marriage is something that takes great unselfishness on the part of both individuals and when one or both are unwilling to sacrifice for the other, their marriage will not remain as strong. Obviously if the people are thinking of the other, they will be more willing to give up their strong opinions that could threaten the relationship.
Children are another factor that should be considered more in the idea of divorce. Legally the courts are working to fulfill the wishes of the parents and do not take into account the impact that different choices that the court will have on the children's lives in the present and the future. In a study of several thousand families, it was discovered that when a child of a divorced couple is fifteen years old, the father lives an average of 400 miles away. In class we discussed the multiple reasons why that would be the case at all and the effects that would have on the child. One thing that could have happened is the mother might have moved her kids away from the father to be nearer to family or start fresh. We concluded that if the child was a boy, he would not have a father figure to follow after and try to be like. Girls would of course be affected by trying to seek love from other males because she lacks that support coming from her father. Ultimately, divorce and remarriage is a difficult process that is suprisingly becoming more common. If possible Americans should think of others than themselves when contemplating divorce because there is more at stake.
Children are another factor that should be considered more in the idea of divorce. Legally the courts are working to fulfill the wishes of the parents and do not take into account the impact that different choices that the court will have on the children's lives in the present and the future. In a study of several thousand families, it was discovered that when a child of a divorced couple is fifteen years old, the father lives an average of 400 miles away. In class we discussed the multiple reasons why that would be the case at all and the effects that would have on the child. One thing that could have happened is the mother might have moved her kids away from the father to be nearer to family or start fresh. We concluded that if the child was a boy, he would not have a father figure to follow after and try to be like. Girls would of course be affected by trying to seek love from other males because she lacks that support coming from her father. Ultimately, divorce and remarriage is a difficult process that is suprisingly becoming more common. If possible Americans should think of others than themselves when contemplating divorce because there is more at stake.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Parenting
Parenting right is very important in the lives of children. This week we zoomed in on the parenting techniques that are most prevalent in society today. Growing up, I had never thought that parenting was very difficult. I had never really considered that parenting could be bad or good. It seemed like something that is just learned over time. But as I have had to take an in depth look at what takes place in parenting, I have changed my mind. To prepare for class on Monday, we had to take a little online test that would reveal which type of parenting style we most exhibit- Authoritative, Authoritarian, or permissive. I had most of the qualities that an Authoritative parent would possess which I discovered was a positive result. In researching these different parenting approaches, I feel like that the Authoritative type of parenting is best. In this approach respect is expected, yet parents talk and listen to their children. In doing this, the children feel that their perspective is validated, but they still experience consequences and are taught to respect their elders.
In contrast, parents act like dictators and do not listen to the responses of their children in the Authoritarian technique. The third technique involves the parents acting as doormats and allowing their children to walk all over them and tell them what to do. This is known as the Permissive technique. These last two techniques are extremes that I feel we must avoid because freedom is either restricted or given too freely. My own parents wisely utilized the Authoritative parenting style. They listened to my opinion and had me choose my consequences when discipline was needed. I am grateful that they did this because I am much better at making decisions now. I also know that my parents will validate my opinion so I can talk to my parents about things that bother me. I plan to raise my kids under this Authoritative parenting technique because I know that they will be most prepared to enter the world when they must leave home.
In contrast, parents act like dictators and do not listen to the responses of their children in the Authoritarian technique. The third technique involves the parents acting as doormats and allowing their children to walk all over them and tell them what to do. This is known as the Permissive technique. These last two techniques are extremes that I feel we must avoid because freedom is either restricted or given too freely. My own parents wisely utilized the Authoritative parenting style. They listened to my opinion and had me choose my consequences when discipline was needed. I am grateful that they did this because I am much better at making decisions now. I also know that my parents will validate my opinion so I can talk to my parents about things that bother me. I plan to raise my kids under this Authoritative parenting technique because I know that they will be most prepared to enter the world when they must leave home.
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