Homemaker

       In society today, the role of the homemaker is looked down upon as a job of no worth. This is something that bothers me so much! Just because women have more rights and opportunities to be in the workforce does not mean that is where they should be or need to be. Since the time of Adam and Eve, families have been raised a specific way, the traditional way. The mother stays at home and cares for the kids while the father is the breadwinner. Within the last century, these roles have changed drastically. Women are expected to go work more and more! My little sister was at school in her fifth grade class and her teacher asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. My sister responded that she was going to be a mom. Her teacher explained to her that that was the first time that any of her students wanted to be a homemaker and that she thought it was a wonderful job.
    In some of the readings that we had, the amount that the average homemaker would make was recorded. We all discussed how placing a value on that type of work almost demeans it. My mother was a homemaker and I saw first hand the impact that she had when she was at home raising us. We always had someone to talk to and someone who was there for the sole purpose of taking care of us. There was one point when my mom had no choice but to go to work for about 6 months because our family wasn't making enough. That was a very hard time for us kids because we had to learn to entertain ourselves for the Summer. My mother did her best, but I gained a huge testimony that homemaker mothers provide a home and the children with a sense of love and care that would otherwise not be there. I hope to walk in the footsteps of my mother and take this responsibility as a homemaker seriously. I plan to get a degree first so that I could go to work if there was no other option, but my first plan is to sacrifice education so that I can raise children in a happy home where love abides.

Conflict in the family

        Within marriage, conflict can have either a positive or negative effect on the relationship and the family. This week I discovered that there is such thing as positive conflict and that conflict does not always produce negative outcomes. Little fights about different topics can be handled appropriately and settled. Such occurrences are natural and normal. They can actually bring couples closer as the conflict is resolved and a solution is found that meets the interests of both individuals. If each is seeking after the well being and acting out of love for the other, the conflict (differing in views) will likely end up being a positive thing.
        Although, there are many who do not choose to resolve conflict this way. Instead of trying to show love and concern for the other, they want to prove their point and therefore act selfishly. Sadly, this is becoming a way that many couples choose to approach issues. Then, if they feel that the other person is getting in the way too often, there is always the option of divorce. This is absolutely not the way to go. It is a way out that many take thinking that in doing so issues would be resolved and that there would be less conflict in their lives. For some, this may be the case. But for most people, they later regret choosing divorce rather than working harder to fix issues and make the marriage work.
     Children in the family are also affected by the conflict of parents. Though parents may try to hide it, the children can sense when there is something wrong. If there is too much conflict between parents, the children can be influenced in their future relationships to act similarly. What comes around goes around. We must work very hard to keep conflict at a minimum and try to think of the other person. If we do this more, our marriages will be healthier and our children will benefit greatly.

Family crisis

     Family crisis can cause a family to lose relationship quality or gain it. This is one of the main concepts that I discovered this week in class. We had to study in depth what happens to families when unexpected circumstances occur to a family whether outside or inside forces.In doing this, I have been able to realize in depth how my own family has coped with different situations over the years. Growing up, we had to move to a different home in every year of high school. I ended up going to two different middle schools and three different high schools. It was a crisis situation most of the time- unexpected and unplanned. This week I have had the chance to look back and realize that my family coped with these surprise moves quite well. Rather than each of us becoming frusturated with the situation and trying to deal with it on our own, my family became extremely close in our relationships with each other.
      In different class discussions we had, I discovered that there were others that have endured serious trial and we discussed how some people do not handle family crisis well and hide in a shell rather than turning to those who are most important. Even  in the reading, it talked a lot about the children of alcoholics. It described how detrimental the situation is to their growing up years and there were statistics that revealed the negative impacts that this had on their future as well. It all comes down to how people handle these crisis situations. Every one is different and therefore reacts differently to circumstances.

Sexuality and fidelity

This was a very interesting week! We discussed sexuality and how it is something that should be reserved for marriage. I believe that it is an act that is sacred and valuable to god. Though it may be a temptation for people to want to do it out of marriage, research shows how doing so is not as satisfying physically as waiting for marriage. We also focused on how the trends of the U.S. are becoming more and more separate from the traditional focus on virginity and the keeping of this practice sacred. Cohabitation is becoming the norm. I personally believe that sex should be kept for marriage- one can prevent disease and be more satisfied.
     We also focused on how one tells their children about the birds and the bees. After our lecture on this topic, I decided that in my family, I will be the one to tell my children about sex. This is because there are so many mixed messages that come from the school systems, school friends, and other sources that our children come by.

Getting married

         Alrighty! So this week we zoomed in on the topic of the "marriage process." It was really fascinating what we learned about. I had never realized how complicated the process was! I mean when you are engaged to a person, you should probably learn about their lifestyles, beliefs, traditions...everything that they will be bringing to the table once the marriage ceremony is over. It may appear that life will be complete bliss (and for a little while it will be), but soon enough the couple will need to make some important decisions. In one of the class discussions that we had, our instructor went through a questionnaire just to get us thinking about the various choices that will need to be made. They were questions like- Will the wife take the last name of the husband to be her own? How many kids will the couple have? Will both individuals work? How will holidays be celebrated?... I didn't really consider how much will need to be decided when two lives merge into one. It really got me thinking.
      We also discussed what happens once a child is born into the home. My teacher really emphasized how important it is for the husband to be a part of the little things like doctors appointments. I learned how those little things added up to be very important in the marriage strengthening process. I was very surprise that as I was  going through a homework assignment I discovered that when giving birth, the mother of the woman should with her when she is giving birth. It should be the father because in such a fragile situation as two people bringing a child into the world, that moment could be shared to make marriage bonds and the love in the relationship stronger. Whereas the mother would be the one sharing that moment with her daughter- a moment that a couple could miss out on. I believe that when I go through this whole ordeal, I will be a little more prepared because of this class!